Gloriously Ordinary Sundays - 12th September 2025
I’ve had a few conversations over the last month with different groups of people around Test Two and the idea of, ‘Would I use that language in my kitchen with my family or the café or pub with my friends?’. People rarely have an issue with the test, and I’ve yet to find someone who doesn’t agree we’ve created a bunch of daft and othering language in our world of social care.
The sticking point, which I find fascinating, is the apparent conundrum of which words to use instead. Everyone I’ve spoken to in sessions over the last month has got really tangled up in how to find an alternative word, a better word, the ‘right’ word.
‘I know that personal care is a really silly thing to say, but how else should I describe it?’
‘I think that challenging behaviour is a horrible term, but I’m not sure what a better word is… we talked about behaviour that challenges…’
‘I can see that complex isn’t very gloriously ordinary, but complex care is the name of the team.’
How about you try this? Write down what you did last night or what you’re planning to do at the weekend – just a couple of sentences. Now try turning it into social care speak.
Going out for a drink with friends becomes socialising with peers.
A trip to the gym or to play football becomes contributing towards my daily exercise outcome.
Getting the groceries becomes taking part in a shopping activity.
Ridiculous when you read it like that, isn’t it, but that’s how it happens. The point of Test Two is that at home, we don’t struggle for the right words. It's inbuilt in us to know how to communicate with each other using words we all understand. If you throw in a curveball to your partner or a family member, I’m sure they will pull you up on it (like the time I used the word corollary in a sentence to my brother, and he told me not to be a smart arse).
The other thing is that lots of the silly and othering words are actually far too vague to be even useful.
What exactly is in my personal care? Going to the loo? Getting a shower? Brushing my teeth? I saw someone’s notes the other day where personal care included getting their breakfast.
When does my behaviour become challenging? When I use racist language, when I shout in the middle of a TV programme, or if I might hit you if you get too close?
And if any of you have an explanation of exactly when I (or any other human I know) isn’t complex, then that would be wonderful.
It might take more words to say ‘Tricia needs support to wash herself in the shower and to put toothpaste on her toothbrush’, but at least you might know what you need to do to support me if you read that, whereas ‘support with personal care’ could mean anything.
A couple of times in sessions for our current Gloriously Ordinary Language programme, people have talked about how social workers are really comfortable to go and have a great chat with somebody in a beautiful, human, empathetic connecting way, then they get paralysed when they have to come back to the office and input everything into the system. Bryony has a great solution – she says, ‘Tell me how you would say it ...Great, write that!’ Good shout.
As you know, lots of people ask me on a regular basis for more of the ‘How to’ behind all of the tests, and I keep resisting, because it really is that simple. Follow the Test …would I use that language in my kitchen…?
There’s your answer. If you wouldn’t, then think about what you would say …and use that. Simples.
PS. Did you see? The Gloriously Ordinary Sundays Podcast episode 14 is here. You'll hear that I am absolutely thrilled to introduce you all to the lovely Marianne Selby-Boothroyd, who's joining the Gloriously Ordinary Lives team... that's right, the Gloriously Ordinary Lives team! How exciting is that? Have a listen, and we'd love to hear what you think!