Gloriously Ordinary Sundays - 26th July 2026
People are part of all our Glorious Ordinary Lives in some way, shape, or form. It’s why Test Four exists. As I’ve said on many occasions, we’re not so great in social care at remembering this, about paying attention to the relationships and connections we all need beyond the paid support we might have.
It was lovely to have a session with the Social Care Future Community of Support last week, with Phil Holmes, the new president of the Association of Directors of Adult Social Services, and to hear him talk about bringing the ‘social’ back into social care. Spot on, Phil.
Test Four is all about friendships and relationships, and it’s also about those other more fleeting day-to-day connections that we have. I wanted to share one that I had this week with you.
I popped into the supermarket for a pint of milk… that turned into a pint of milk, some chocolate and a bottle of wine that I’m trying not to drink. As I walked through the fruit and veg section, I saw a woman with a very new baby. She stopped me in my tracks because the baby was hung over her right arm like in the photo below, and in her left hand she held her shopping basket. I just couldn’t work out how she wasn’t dropping the baby! She caught my eye, and we smiled at each other.
I continued walking around the store picking up things I didn’t need, and then as I came to the cash desks I saw her again. I also saw a woman of my age who was gazing at the woman and her baby with a similar look of incredulity to me. She looked at me and said, ‘Are you a bit gobsmacked by her too?!’ We had a conversation about how confident the woman seemed, what a lovely energy she had, how she surely wasn’t a first-time Mum. Then we got into a conversation about babies and parenting that led to a conversation about children that we don’t birth… and about being neurodivergent… oh, and the fact that she’d recently broken her ankle and was still needing crutches and how both of us needed to be able to move our bodies to keep our heads straight! Ten minutes maximum but a really lovely, connected conversation.
Her husband then arrived back, and they went on their way, but I noticed that I left the supermarket with a big smile on my face. At the moment, I don’t always have a big smile on my face.
There is something beautiful about those short moments of connection with fellow humans. Neither of us felt the need to exchange phone numbers; we just took the moment in time and enjoyed it. Chatting to Bryony about it later, we agreed that these are some of the most important connections we have as humans and are potentially as important as spending time with friends and people we love. It was one of John Nicoll’s gifts – the ability (as we both described it) to start a conversation with a gatepost. It meant that anywhere we went, there was always someone who said hello to us (it also meant that we were often late!).
When my mum was in the last few years of her life, she had far fewer of these connecting moments as she didn’t leave the house so much and they’re harder to have when you’re at home and also when you’re not the person answering the front door. I’ve had some lovely chats with my postwoman and with the Amazon delivery man.
Since The Girl has moved house, I’ve been really encouraging her team to help her meet the people who run the corner shop and introduce her to her neighbours. They are important relationships as they are, and they can also lead to other deeper relationships. My dear friends Claire and Sharon both started as my next-door neighbours.
At the moment, I know I am not doing a great job of being a friend to the people I love. I’m struggling with the energy it seems to take to chat about important stuff, so maybe those brief connections feel even more important at the moment.
Have a great week and maybe channel your inner John Nicoll and say hello to someone at the bus stop.