Gloriously Ordinary Sundays - 21st December 2025
Quick one this week aimed mainly at me as I challenge my thoughts and beliefs about what is right and why is truly gloriously ordinary.
Test One is supposed to be that clear bottom line that helps us work out whether something is okay or not - ‘Would I want that for me or someone I love?’ This includes the bottom lines of humanity – things that are not ok for any human. It helps us think about what’s really important to us and what makes our heart sing. It also challenges us to recognise and respect the routines we all have. Those tiny details that make our life our own.
Here’s a thing (Tricia Nicoll). What’s okay for me (even the seemingly obvious bottom line) might not be okay for you. What’s okay for you might not be okay for me! Obvious… until it pushes us (me) out of our comfort zone of what is above and below that bottom line.
Just this week…
My friend whose mum has moved into a care home after I’ve helped her stay at home for the last year. It’s become increasingly difficult for them both, and my friend felt that she was failing her mum. If I’m honest, I felt like I’d failed them both. Her mum told her yesterday that she’s the happiest she’s been in years.
Ciaran arrived at mine last Sunday for dinner, looking a bit dishevelled. I made a snap decision that he must have had really poor support that weekend and prepared to do battle, then I chatted with a friend who suggested that maybe his thought process was, ‘I’m only going to Tricia‘s for dinner. She doesn’t care what I look like, I can’t be bothered to change my clothes or have a shower, it’s all cool.’ Aaaargh – maybe!
The girl. Always the girl at the moment. A few weeks ago, it felt really clear to me that we were failing Test One and that the way she’s living isn’t what I’d want for me or someone I love (her). The house she lives in needs some TLC and looks a bit scruffy. It hasn’t got a great energy (sorry that might be a bit too woohoo, but some of you will get it). I’ve been working with her team and the organisation who support her to plan a potential move to a new house… and now I’ve got cold feet. Am I imposing what I think a place we call home looks like on her? Or is it really important that I have her corner and get her what she needs … or is it neither …or both?
I think this comes back to that most hateful word in the human language:
SHOULD
It’s bloody useless, isn’t it?
I should do this.
I should’ve done that.
You shouldn’t do that.
It's right up there with ‘must’, ‘ought’ and ‘have to’.
My friend’s mum should have stayed at home.
Ciaran should have looked smart when he came for dinner.
The Girl should live in a smart, well-decorated house.
When you say it like that, it’s ridiculous.
I’m sure lots of us are going to be full of ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts’ over the next couple of weeks.
I should get up and go for a nice, long walk.
I shouldn’t have shouted at the kids.
I ought to call my Mum and see how she is.
I have to make sure everyone is having a good time.
Shall we give ourselves a break?
PS. Did you see? The Gloriously Ordinary Sundays Podcast episode 14 is here. You'll hear that I am absolutely thrilled to introduce you all to the lovely Marianne Selby-Boothroyd, who's joining the Gloriously Ordinary Lives team... that's right, the Gloriously Ordinary Lives team! How exciting is that? Have a listen, and we'd love to hear what you think!