Gloriously Ordinary Sundays - 23rd November 2025

Test three started out as quite a straightforward one in my head, I think.

Take a mental image – what does it tell you?

Make a judgement - would you want that on your phone or would it make you sad, embarrassed, frustrated?

An easy way to think about whether someone’s life (or the support they are getting) really is gloriously ordinary. I’m coming to realise it’s hugely more than that.

When I’m working with people as part of Gloriously Ordinary Lives programmes, we unpack stories behind photos. We expose the reality of those lovely family pictures we share on social media, where the kids are smiling, we have our arms round our partners and the world is a beautiful place… omitting to share the photo from 30 seconds later now we’re not speaking to our partner because of a comment they’ve made or where child one is screaming the place down because they dropped their ice cream and child two is laughing at them.

It works both ways. There are snapshots you could take of my life that would make you concerned, potentially - make you feel sad for me and my little life. I sometimes share a mental image of me on my own, early evening in Kefalonia, sitting in my pyjamas in the dark on my own reading my Kindle. That splits a room between people who share the knowledge that it’s bliss and those who feel slightly panicked by the idea that I’m not out there having some fun.

It absolutely is a test that’s about being curious, and I love being curious about life.

Over the last few months, I’ve also got thinking about how maybe it started as the photo test, thinking about what we can see, but actually, it’s a way of thinking using all our senses to explore about what’s going on in someone’s life.

The Girl has been living in her own place for 18 months now, and you could take some pictures that would look like a great photo test. She loves pink and her lounge is a riot of pink velvet curtains, pink rug, cushions, a Wicked poster and lots of pink neon lights. I could go on, but increasingly I’m concerned about things that aren’t captured by a photo, and you’re going to have to bear with me here if this is all a bit too woo-woo for you. Several friends have shared that when they go to visit The Girl, her place doesn’t have a great energy, not a great feel to it. There is a heaviness, a feeling that doesn’t make it homely, and that is still there, no matter how many lovely pink things there are. It’s a feeling, and an important one to consider as we help her with other things that she’s finding tough about life.

There are times in situations where my other senses have made me question someone’s life and the support they are getting.

Visiting my Grandma (many many years ago) in her nursing home, where there was an undeniable, if well masked smell of wee. Stale cooking smells of over-boiled veg and cheap meat. The musty smell of lack of hope.

A radio station playing in Kate’s home when she didn't have physical access to a radio.  I like music, but an easy way to send me quickly to tipping point is to have a commercial radio station playing in the background and ask me to get on with my life. I just can’t do it.

So, I’m suggesting that Test Three isn’t just a photo test (although that’s a great starting point) but a ‘let’s use all our senses and feelings to dig a bit deeper and get more curious test’. Not nearly as snappy, but hey ho.

I’m lucky to be working quite a lot at the moment in the North East, where I lived for 20 years and which I miss. It’s been lovely to connect with people in familiar places and share stories with people who know where I’m talking about.

I had a fabulous session last Friday with people I’m working with across Teesside who are just a smashing group of folk. They helped me have a proper ‘ah ha’ moment about Test Three when I realised that even a photograph that you’d like to think 100% was a great big fat ‘no that’s terrible’ might have a backstory.

The inspiration for Test Three was a mental image I took while walking from a train station to a conference venue a few years ago. Walking towards me was an older man about 5’ tall, flanked on either side by two young men, both over 6’ and wearing prominent lanyards. They were holding the older man’s hands, walking much faster than it looked like the older man was comfortable with, and chatting with each other. The expression on the older man’s face was one of terror. I always share that image as an absolute - just a horrible photograph depicting really poor support.

In a moment of insight last Friday, we thought about some back stories that might have been a bit more nuanced. Maybe the older man needed the loo, and the two young men knew him well enough to know they had to move fast because he would’ve been devastated by an accident.

Maybe they were on their way to catch a bus or train which, if they’ve missed it would’ve caused extreme distress. Maybe they were talking to each other because they were checking out, they were doing the right thing – challenging each other in a really positive way.

At the session, we spoke about what a photograph shows and doesn't show and how nothing is 100% truth. We thought about how we can use this within teams to reflect on and be curious about a moment in someone’s life, as everyone sees things differently. Maybe you could have a go?

What Test Three is all about for people on the current Gloriously Ordinary Lives programme in Teesside.

PS. Did you see? The Gloriously Ordinary Sundays Podcast episode 14 is here. You'll hear that I am absolutely thrilled to introduce you all to the lovely ⁠⁠⁠Marianne Selby-Boothroyd⁠⁠⁠, who's joining the Gloriously Ordinary Lives team... that's right, the Gloriously Ordinary Lives team! How exciting is that? Have a listen, and we'd love to hear what you think!