Gloriously Ordinary Sundays - 8th March 2026

I’ve been inspired by a call last week where we got chatting about the idea of ‘third places’, an idea first coined by Ray Oldenburg back in 1989 in his book, ‘The Great Good Place’. To be honest, I probably haven’t thought about the idea or used the words ‘third place’ since the 1990s, but the idea is as relevant today as it was thirty years ago.

You can read a longer definition here, but Ray summarises third places as  

‘A generic designation for a great variety of public places that host the regular, voluntary, informal, and happily anticipated gatherings of individuals beyond the realms of home and work.’

I realised as I went down a bit of a rabbit hole of reading and remembering that these places are particularly important to me. When John Nicoll and I moved from the city to the countryside (terrifying for me at the time) just before we got Ciaran, I remember telling him that I had to live somewhere with a pub and a corner shop, and in the several times I’ve moved house since then, I’ve always looked for places where I sensed there were opportunities to feel connected.

When I move somewhere new, I actively seek these places out, as I find something wonderfully grounding about walking in somewhere and someone saying, ‘Hello Tricia, great to see you.’

My local café, a pub, my gym, the local shop, my hairdresser, and the lake where I swim. All places where I go to do something or buy something, but where I get the added value of the relationships I have there. As Ray Oldenburg says,

Happily anticipated gatherings

Being part of a gang

A good deal of laughter and banter

I had my hair cut on Friday.  I’ve been going to the same place since I moved down south 10 years ago, and they are so much more than my hairdresser. Nicky, the owner, was my go-to place for a personal assistant when the kids were at home. She knew Ciaran and The Girl, cut their hair (with some wonderful reasonable adjustments), and we had a deal that she could pass my phone number on to anyone she thought might make a great addition to our team. On Friday, Keeleigh was telling me about her nephews who go to Comic Con - something I've been trying to make happen for Ciaran for ages. It's not my thing, so if I'm honest, I've not been that motivated. A 2-minute conversation with the hairdresser and he’s sorted.

Karen, who runs a little gift shop where I’ve lived for the last 18 months, will always help me find exactly the right present for someone.

Tash in the pub where I used to live, always knew how to get the right drink for The Girl when she was in her phase of, ‘you think you know what I like, but I might have changed my mind today’. I could also go there for a quick drink on my own if I needed 30 mins away and we would chat, but she also had a knack for introducing me to someone new whose company she knew I’d enjoy.

I’ve just helped Marianne at my swimming lake write a one-page profile with her dad as he’s having a (frustratingly) extended stay in hospital. This morning at the lake, Vicky brought leftover cake from her dad’s birthday to share with everyone, and we had an impromptu sing-along to Supertramp.

I’ve not seen any friends this weekend, but I’ve chatted, laughed, and sorted some stuff out.

It got me thinking about The Girl and how she’s not really found her third places since moving into her own home. She used to have our local Tesco Express, where she could go on her own, and they knew her name. Likewise, the community centre where she did Clubbercise, the Nisa store, café and library. Neighbours said hello. Not so much now.

To be included, we have to be present.

Have a think about your third places and what you’d be missing from life without them. Do you need to help anyone you know get connected?

PS. Did you see? The Gloriously Ordinary Sundays Podcast episode 15 is here. I indulge myself a little bit with some nostalgia, going back to the time when my two were at school and reflecting on what great inclusion looked and felt like to us as a family. I'll share some lovely memories of The Girl's experience, and you'll hear Ciaran talking about his own memories. Have a listen, and we'd love to hear what you think!